i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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