I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
