why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
