look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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