im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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