..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
