Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
