i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
