he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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