it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
