dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
