I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
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I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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