I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
