there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
