you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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