you turned your livingroom into a bong?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
