where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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