shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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