My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
