I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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