I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You were trust falling into bushes
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
