Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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