So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize