my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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