If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
