OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Where is the hickey?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
