Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
