Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
