I wish I could punch you in the face.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize