I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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