I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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