I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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