He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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