Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
