i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
