ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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