Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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