White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize