i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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