all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
