I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
