He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
