Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
