why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i've created a new STD.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
