the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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