When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize