finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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