Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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