she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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