Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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