sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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