You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize