i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
