I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i need an iv and a liver transplant
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
