Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
