He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize