He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
