I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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