There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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