I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
