did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
