No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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