I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
