I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
