70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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